Oh well...

Well, my results suck big time this semester...i'm so not kidding.

All the more reason to work like a bitch next semester. Just you wait...huhuhu
I want them A's dammit!

Celaka.

Food for Thought 05

GHOSTBUSTERS

VERSUS

ANTOO FIGHTER

I rest my case.

Uh-oh's that can't be Undone.

This goes out to those of you who packed on a few more pounds during the holidays!
Yes. You.
I see you. Don't run. Don't hide.
It doesn't make you any thinner.

We're ALL in the same boat, sistah!
Let's put our hands in the air, and wave 'em like they ain't flabby!

Crap.

Salam Aidiladha.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha to all my readers, friends and family.

Enjoy the rendang, cows died for your precious rendang.

Enough with the asking-for-duit raya joke, it's getting old.

Love you guys, mucho!

xoxo,
S.M

Choking on Popcorn!

I love movies. I think it's something we all should get involved with in order to escape from this harsh reality. (gituu..). Movies are fantasies that we can all afford to have and it doesn't hurt to feel like you're Juliet or rich and effing famous.

The say we should appreciate local movies. Support our local actresses and actors and also directors and screenplay writers because supporting your local artists is just the right thing to do, show em some lurve, give the country some revenue and all that jazz. But what I cannot handle is, the limit of creativity that these so-called artistes have. A few examples might help you agree with me.

1. Seeing double. After watching certain malay movies, have you ever felt a sense of Deja Vu? Yea, tell me about it. What's with all the remakes? As if YOU can make it more interesting.
*Tokyo Drift - KL Drift
*The Fast and The Furious - KL Menjerit/ Remp-it ( only promoting the fact that we love our Rempits)
* Love Actually - Cinta
* Daredevil/Spiderman - Cicakman ( I think they're suits look alike)
* Splash - Duyung
* NYPD Blue - Gerak Khas (ni paling takleh blah)
The list can go on...

2. The Dialogue. I cannot handle the schematic and stiff dialoques in Malay movies/series. It just reflects a fake, uptight and emotionless society, which we are certainly not!
A: Mari kita pergi makan? (wei, gi makan jom!)
B: Nak makan kat mana? (Katne?)
or
Father: Ali, pergi tidur, sudah lewat malam ni, esok sekolah. (Ali, tido gi. 2mrw school)
Son: Baiklah Ayah, Ali tidur dulu ya. (K, Ayah)
Father: Jangan lupa gosok gigi dan cuci kaki ye..(Gosok gigi tu, cuci kaki skali)
Son: Baik Yah..(Oritee..)

Get the point? If you still don't, i recommend you watch an episode of Gerak Khas, you'll get the picture.

3. The Plot. Its always about groups of screwed up teenagers getting high, being prostitutes, going clubbing, racing their Super cars/bikes, disappointing their parents and in the end someone dies/gets shot/gets into an accident/gets caught by the police and they learn their lesson, or so it seems. Newsflash! No one is learning anything from these movies. If anything, teenagers just think it's cool to race and go rempit-ing/ take drugs because they're favourite actors are doing it.

Or, some Datuk is having an affair with some secretary and then people want to take over his multi-gazillion company, and they just happen to have photos of him with the girl he's having an affair with, and they try to blackmail him. When that doesn't work (because the Datuk hired some guys to destroy the pictures) they kidnap the Datuk's wife/daughter/sister (has to be a girl, because a damsel in distress is oh-so-sexy.)
It always ends with someone dying. D'uh someone has to die so they can write this in the credits: "Cerita ini adalah rekaan semata2, tiada kaitan dengan yang hidup atau mati".

4. Over-the-top makeup and wardrobe. I cannot handle the fact that the actresses wear a ton of makeup and wear ridiculous clothes and wear WIGS! I mean, it's okay to wear wigs, but a diff hairstyle every damn day? Obviously too tacky and soooo deadly un-creative. Would you wanna admire someone who wears purple eye shadow with devil red lipstick, who also wears a polka-doted green dress while wearing a wig that doesn't suit her at all. I know acting is supposed to be one step above the layman, but this is just plain dumb.


Seriously, we need a revamp of Malaysia's movie scene. We need to get creative and think of ways to be different. Make Malaysians want/can't wait/won't regret to spend that RM10/12 on that cinema ticket. I'm definitely NOT saying that all Malaysian-made movies suck. But i really do think we can do with some improvement.
If Kabir Bhatia can come up with the amazing "Sepi" and Yasmin Ahmad can come up with "Sepet" and "Gubra" etc..(let's not forget her killer commercials, love em!)
I'm very sure more Malaysians can do the same thing, or even better.

Think about it, why waste millions to create a movie which no one would remember for years to come? The real success is to create a story that would be talked about for years to come because of the difference it made, or because you simply just fell in love with it.

Bang!

Sorry for the sudden pause people! I had a week-long affair in Shah Alam. It was messy.

Anyways, now I'm back in beautiful SP. Enjoying my holidays with the family. Ah...i miss the lazy life!

So, keep your front doors locked and keep track of your boyfriends, Stephanie Morris has returned!

Come on people! Get lazy, stay up late and sleep in with me! well, not with me.
I don't share my bed, unless you want me to!
:P

xoxo,
S.M.

What's with the 3rd Degree?

Peraturan:
1-Peraturan ditulis di awal Tag.

2-Setiap pemain menjawap jawapan peribadi mereka.

3-Akhir sekali,tag 5 orang dan pos nama mereka,pergi ke laman blog mereka dan tinggalkan komen yang memberitahu mereka sudah di'tag' dan ajak mereka bermain dan baca blog anda.

Apa yang kamu lakukan sekitar jam 10.17 semalam?
- Tunggu bus in Shah Alam nak pulang ke kampung halaman, Sp ku yang indah!

Selain itu,apa yang kamu lakukan sekarang?
- D'uh, buat tag!

Adakah kamu akan bangun 7.00 pagi esok?
- Hell no.

Who's the funniest person you know?
- Evryone I know is funny, i cannot handle ppl with a retarded sense of humour.

Are you afraid to grow up?
- Not really, why fear the inevitable?

What was your worst subject in school?
-Add. Maths. The bane of my existence.

Kalau anda minum 14 mug bir,apa yang akan terjadi?
- Soalan yang patut ditanya kalau saya minum 14 mug bir, wht's gonna happen to the ppl who are with/around me?

Tidur dengan pintu terbuka atau tertutup?
- Tertutup, sumtimes bukak sket...malas nak tutup. heh.

Bila kali terakhir kamu buat perkara yang kamu rasa salah?
- I do something wrong every damn day.

Apa yang sedang kamu pakai sekarang?
- Boxers and baju tido

What are you listening to right now?
- The humming of my pc and the fan.

Whats your favorite number?
- 5. (sumpah i tak tiru you ismal!)

How is the weather right now?
- Dark, cold. Malam namenye.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
- Hafeez

Merokok?
- yup. Pall Mall Menthols

Eye Color?
- Dark Brown.

Bulan kesukaan?
- bulan purnama. gitu..

Apakah movie terbaru yang kamu tonton?
- OMG. The qualms of being single, you don't go to the movies that often. damn.

Hari kesukaan?
- Hari cuti.

Jika kamu boleh cakap sesuatu pada seseorang,apa yang kamu akan cakap?
- Seriously, wht's your point?

Pelukan atau ciuman?
- What's one without the other?

Berkawan lagi dengan rakan-rakan di sekolah lama?
- Of cross!

Left-handed atau right-handed?
- I do it better with my right hand. (seriously, why does everything have a sexual conotation?)

Mahu tidur dengan berapa bantal?
- I need at least three. two for my head, one to peluk!

Tidur dengan seseorang atau bersendirian?
-depends on my mood.

Apa yang kejutkan kau pagi tadi?
- The sun.

Boleh teruskan hidup dengan tidak merokok?
-Why not?

Pernah kawan baik kamu buat onar di belakang kamu?
- Depan, belakang, kiri dan kanan, baby!

Memilih untuk memberi nombor telefon?
- Sometimes.

Mana lebih suka: McDonalds atau Burger King
-Burger King mahal mcm nak beli emas. So i'd choose McD.

Mahu pergi ke Greece atau Hawaii?
- Greece. Nak jumpe tht guy from Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants and go skinny dipping with him. awww...

Hari jadi yang menarik tahun ini
- Mine!

Saya tag:
Bella Muerte
Ms. Yeah
Ninja
Mr. Nelayan
Bini Nelayan

Strip Search Me and Call Me Baby!

Since we're in the mood of oogling hawt men, let me introduce mine!

ohh...Adam Levine. You can strip search me and call me baby, anytime!



Hawt man, Hawt bod, Hawt stare, Hawt tattoo!
What more could a girl ask for?

Tear Me Apart. I Won't Bleed.

Been thinking of what to blog about for the past hour or so...

Then, i remembered that i haven't blogged about tattoos in a while, so i went browsing on the Internet and i found THE tattoo! i'm so in love with it! whoever did it was a freakin tattoo jedi and the person who got was beyond genius! Kudos! I love it!

These are the arms and legs, it seriously looks like spidey
is gonna pop out anytime soon!

Yes! That's a freaking tattoo and it's the whole body, mind you. It's so hot I need an ice-pack!
You have to admit, it's pretty darn BEAUTIFUL!

Isn't this chest piece just a work of art? If only, if only....

Four Words-- I. Envy. I. Want. garrrnnn....

The Truth is very Ugly.

Hmm..some of you might hate the fact that i'm about to post this, some of you might agree, some of you might totally disagree and decide to declare war against me and others might just not give a damn. so i recommend that you pick a side because there is a whole lot of hurtful truth in this post and the truth is often hard to swallow. Which makes this sooo much better! For me, obviously.

For those of you who know me, you know that I'm not the staunch-est Muslim there is out there. But, I do know a thing or two. ( I like to read if you hadn't notice and I do pay attention during Agama class). So, here come the big issue. Since when is it okay to wear a tudung and still commit deadly sins, overtly? Yes, we have all seen it, well now it's time to read all about it! During the duration of this post, sila izinkan saya berbahasa ibunda.


Isu pertama.

Pada suatu hari yang biasa, aku jalan2 kat mane tah ngan kawan2...ade la minah2 ni...aku igtkan indon...aku buat bodo je la. Pakai tudung, tapi pakai seluar 3/4, baju lengan pendek. aku fikir, "ni dah ikut mazhab mane pulak ni?". aku fikir indon, jadi aku buat tak tau, mereka ni kurang ajaran yang benar agaknya. Sekali time tgh lalu kat sebelah, cakap BM baik punya, takde pelat indon pun. Melayu kita rupanya. Ni dah kenape rambut tutup tapi kaki ngan lengan nampak? Aku yang tak cemerlang bab agama pun tau ni dah salah. Dah la salah, fashion faux pas yang teramat sgt! Sakit mata tgk doh! K la...xpe la, setelah aku dan kwn2 selesai mengutuk dan beredar dari tempat itu, aku pun dah kurang tensi sikit lah.

Isu kedua.

Korang penah kan tengok filem pornografi yang disebarkan melalui sms. Aku tau mmg byk versi, tapi versi ni sgt best. ade sorang minah bertudung, dgn selambanya blowjob boyfriend dia kat tepi tangga la, dalam kereta la, dlm toilet la, dlm store room pun ade (ber"background"kan kotak2 yang byk sgt, buruk betul). ade juga yang main raba2 kat public! haih. ni dah takleh jadi. kok ye pun nak record aktiviti anda yang sgt tak mengiurkan itu, (jgn sesekali perasan porn anda setaraf ngan minah salleh stock jenna jameson) BUKAKLA TUDUNG TU! aku bukan nak cakap, tapi mmg kene cakap! apesal laaa yang BODO sgt?!?! buruk tau tak bila dah terpampang kat semua org korang buat keje tu dengan tudung plak tu! alahmak aih.... adik2, kakak2, tolong la pakai akal sikit dah fikir.

Isu ketiga.

Ade jugak yang pakai tudung alasanya "mak bapak suruh pakai"...o0o0...mak bapak kau suruh buat maksiat sambil pakai tudung gak ke? Bapak kau suruh pakai tudung sebab dia tak nak tanggung dosa kau sebagai anak dia. Yang kau tambah dengan maksiat kot atas tu sape suruh? kan dah bodoh namenye?
Bila korang tgk org mcm aku ni, pakai takde la sopan sgt, tak pakai tudung plak tu, korang judge (bukan semua ye), korang ckp "ee, tak tutup aurat". OK, aku setuju. But at least, aku takde la isap kote mamat mane tah, pastu kasi dia record, pastu buleh tgk camera pulak tu! mcm soo proud dapat jadi pornstar yang "alim". Korang tak hot dan korang tidak penah akan hot selagi tidak berfikir dengan waras.
Pastu pegi dating ngan boyfriend nak pegang2 tangan, nak peluk2 kat shopping mall. Haih! Malu doh! Baik kau bukak je tudung tu, tinggal kat umah, takpun simpan dalam bag. Nanti Bapak marah pulak, keluar tadi pakai tudung, balik dah hilang dah. isk isk (Pegang tangan boyfriend, peluk2, cium2 --bapak tak marah ke? :P)


Konklusi.

Sememangnya pakai tudung itu satu bende yang wajib di kalangan wanita Islam. Kita dimuliakan oleh Allah kerana ikut perintahNya dan menutup aurat. TAPI, bile dah start buat bende2 tak senonoh ni, dah defeats the purpose. Memang la dah xde pahala dah kan? dah, aku dah tak tau nak cakap mcm mane. What are your thoughts? I know i'm not the expert so maybe there are people who think otherwise or have other opinions.

Please do share!


The Bane of your Existence,
xoxo,
S.M



P/S: I'm just sharing, and not pointing this to any particular person/group. Kalau terasa, and nak marah aku, aku silakan. TAPI aku nak tanye dulu, Kenape nak terasa? Kau ade buat salah ke? Don't blame me kalau dah tergigit cili dan terasa pedasnya. I told you, the truth is often hard to swallow.

Une nuit a Paris!

Demain est mon examen de francaise. Je suis endormie, je ne veux pas d'etudier. Je suis tres confiant... que je suis baise!

Peu importe, avoir une bonne nuit.

Merci beaucoup a tous mes lecteurs pour traduire cette.

Food for Thought 04

What's the masculine word for slut?

Why is there only a "slutty" word for a woman?

Why isn't there one for a man?

Hmm...

Let's Talk about Sex, baby!

I know, i'm soo not supposed to talk about this! o0o0o0...what a scary/ embarrassing/ degrading/humiliating/no-no topic! Well, i'm talking about it because you're not. So, here are my thoughts on the holy grail of emotions. The epitome of relationships and the death of conservative-ness. Consider this your elbow pads and helmet before plunging into the insatiable world of sex. I don't claim to have any sort of credentials, but I am living and experiencing life. So, don't take my word for it..this is just something we can read about together and maybe learn a thing or two in the process.

Today's topic - Virginity.

I think this topic goes out to the ladies. Okay, so you're thinking about having sex for the first time and not quite sure what it's gonna be like. You've heard stories here and there like, it's gonna hurt or you're gonna bleed or you're gonna be "loose" after losing your virginity. I can assure you, it's not as bad as it sounds.

1. I seriously don't think that your virginity is something you can "lose". Therefore, i do not agree with the term "i lost my virginity". You're virginity is yours and it is not something that can be taken away or lost or stolen. Its yours for as long as you want it to be.

2. The bleeding is caused by a tear in your hymen ( a thin layer of skin surrounding the opening of the vagina). Absolutely scientific, and has nothing to do with losing your self-esteem in the process. And one can't be "loose" when you start having sex. This is a common misunderstanding. This doesn't happen until you're like 50, no matter how many times you've had sex. When you're older, the muscles around the vagina lose their "tough" ness and durability, usually comes with childbirth and aging of the body.

3. Let's say you've had sex for the first time, For God's Sake, THAT MAN DOES NOT OWN YOU! If you're smart/stupid enough to have sex with a man you're not married to, then you're smart enough to deal with the consequences should something go wrong with the relationship. Do not subject yourself to being a slave for this man should he decide to break it off, or you find out he's having an affair or some shit like that. DEAL WITH IT! You have to stand up for yourself and move on. Be strong.

4. Don't you dare, even for a second, think that you're not worth it anymore after you've had sex for the first time. This is the 21st century. Chill. Like I said, if you're smart enough to have sex before marriage, then be double smart in dealing with the consequences.

5. And please, think about it over and over again. Don't have sex because all your friends are having sex, and don't start having sex because the tv shows are saying it's oh so cool. Do it because YOU wanna do it. And do it when YOU'RE ready to do it. not when HE'S ready or when you think you love the guy so much that you're gonna die from all the love. Truth is, he might not love you just as much.

Okay people, that's all i have for you now, I'll get back to you with more juicy, sexy details. Don't be shy, post your questions in the comment section. I will get back to you..

Safe sex always!
xoxo,
S.M

Tagged by Aimi!

Ok, so, sorta got tagged by Aimi...so now i have to write 7 cool/weird/bizzarro things about me... I hope ur ready, bitches!

1. I have this thing, when people talk about something and I'm eavesdropping, I won't keep quiet like other people do, I jump in and start asking "ape, weh?". (a bit kampung, but wht the hell, there's a "timah" in all of us)

2. I'm a sneeze-a-holic. If i feel like I'm about to sneeze, i don't keep it in, instead i force it out...drives my friends crazy.

3. I love NOSE shoes. they drive me crazy like up the wall crazy. it doesn't matter if they are on sale or just plain expensivo, if i have the dough, i'd by them. nothing beats the fresh smell of a new NOSE recyclable box with a pair of to die for high-heeled goodies just waiting for me to go dancing in them. but, in contrast, i hate walking around in shopping malls for hours without a specific purpose. i guess i'm a man in that sense.

4. I hate it when someone lies, then i find out the truth, in a horrible way or from someone else. if you're gonna lie, lie intelligently. perfect the art and make sure it's full proof. if you don't you're just making yourself look dumber than you already are. please.

5. I think I sound really good when i sing and look really hot when i dance. i really do.

6. I cannot seem to bring myself to fall for a guy who's my age or younger than me. i tried, failed miserably. Simply because i think that men actually act and think two years younger than their age. So, i go for older men. Not old, just old-er. get it?

7. I can be a real bitch and a half and a pain in ur ass and you would never see it coming. ever.

Food for Thought 03

Who the hell had the idea of putting a " ! " as an exclamation mark?
A " ! " to symbolize something shocking, exciting, extraordinary!
And it's addictive!
I could go on forever!
(See what I mean?)

It's just an upside down " i ".


While we're at it, who came up with " ? ", " & ", " @ ". hmm...

When my Time comes...Leave out All The Rest.

I dreamt I was missing and you were so scared,
But no one would listen cause no one else cared,
After my dreaming, i woke with this fear,
What am I leaving, when I am done here?

When my times comes,
Forget the wrong that I've done,
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed.
Don't resent me and when you're feeling empty,
Keep me in your memories, leave out all the rest.

Don't be afraid, I've taken my beating,
I've shared what I've made,
I'm strong on the surface not all the way through,
I've never been perfect, but neither have you.

Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learnt to hide so well,
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself,
I can't be who you are.

Chester, Rob, Mike, Joe, Phoenix, Brad.
Leave Out All The Rest.

Tagged by Ismal!

I got tagged by Ismal...so Here Goes --

My top 10 favourite food:

1. Mum's cooking
2. Grandma's cooking
3. McDonald's
4. KFC
5. Dominoes
6. Dunkin Donuts (Bavarian only)
7. Big Apple Donuts
8. Nasi + ayam masak madu + sayur kobis + telur rebus
9. Italian food
10. Indian food

10 things I love doing:

1. Writing
2. Reading
3. Singing
4. Dancing
5. Clubbing
6. Eating
7. Swearing
8. Lepak-ing
9. IM-ing
10. Watching movies

5 types of boys I adore:

1. Cool like that, hehe
2. Has the balls for anything
3. Gets me
4. I get him
5. Gives me crazy, sexy love

5 things I love doing when I'm feeling down:

1. Cry
2. Sing sad songs and cry
3. Write my ass off
4. Smoke like a chimney
5. Talk to Linda

5 things I love doing when I'm happy:

1. Sing
2. Write
3. Go out lepak
4. Dance
5. Eat good food

10 ways to win my heart:

1. Listen to good music (no rempit shit)
2. Have a fashion sense (again, no rempit shit)
3. Make good jokes
4. Cheer me up when i'm blue
5. Consider my problems as yours as well
6. Do not ignore me if we're fighting (it was probably ur fault to begin with)
7. Love my friends as well
8. Love my family as well
9. Do not deny me the simple pleasures in life
10. Do not constantly tell me my friends are hot, that's just a major turn off!

My top 5 favourite junk food:

1. Ice-cream
2. Donuts
3. Chips
4. Those buns you get in 7-11
5. Canned drinks

5 things I wish would happen soon:

1. Graduation
2. Career
3. Marriage
4. Winning the lottery
5. Peace of mind

10 ridiculous things I wish to do before I die:

1. Bungee jump with Linda, while smoking cigarettes
2. Travel everywhere, without having to worry about a budget
3. Join Amazing Race with Linda, hehe
4. Cook the most amazing 3 course meal anyone has ever seen/tasted before
5. Own an empire
6. Have the ability to control technology, therefore control human beings
7. Go on an amazing date, whereby my date can read my mind and obeys it
8. Design my own shoes
9. Breakfast in Paris, Lunch in Rome and Dinner in New York
10. Publish so many books, i'll make J.K Rowling look like a joke

My top 10 recently most addictive songs:

1. Secondhand Serenade - Awake
2. Jordin Sparks - One Step At A Time
3. Yuna - After Midnight
4. Leona Lewis - Yesterday
5. The Script - The Man Who Can't Be Moved
6. Beyonce - If I Were A Boy
7. Secondhand Serenade - Pretend
8. Britney Spears - Womanizer
9. Christina Aguilera - Keeps Getting Better
10. Flo Rida feat. Will.I.Am - In The Ayer

People I wish to tag:

EVERYONE!



OMFG! Puas kau Ismal? Tersiksa jiwa batin...haih. Finally habis...
so guys, Good Luck!


xoxo,
FinZ

This one takes the Cake!

So, i was YM-ing with this guy, so i thought he was coming on to me la ( a bit vain i know, but at least i'm honest)...anyways, halfway through our conversation i found out he was actually trying to ngorat my man...this is a guy, might i remind you.

Wow! and when i thought people cannot get weirder...
You do not, by any means, flirt with a guy, thru his girlfriend! wtf? r u retarded? begok doh...
anywhoo...i had a great time laughing my ass off, thanks for that! ;)

Food for Thought 02

Inexplicably long lines.
Preposterous pricing for a mediocre product.
Bad music.
Pretentious interior design.
Self-important employees.
AND
A founder who owns an NBA team and is laughing all the way to the bank -- at us.


Sorry, R. It's business. Nothing personal.

Online Drama.

I love IM-ming. Always have, always will. some people would think that this allows me to be someone i'm not. who's gonna know right? but it is quite the opposite actually. When i'm in cyber space, i get to be exactly who I am, and the best part is, it is judgement free. no one cares who you are, no one judges. there are people who lie about who they are and shit, but hey, that's not me.

However, there are certain things i can do without when i'm logged onto my Yahoo! Messenger.

1. Some guy wanting to talk about sex but doesn't have the balls to say it, instead he says "hey, you ni open-minded tak". so, if i say i am, then i should automatically start harassing you with my emoticons, is that it? get a dictionary. i'll give you a hint; open-minded does not mean sex maniac.

2. People who abuse the availability of my webcam. if i deny you access, it means i don't want you, a stranger, to see me in the comfort of my own home. do not say i'm sombong just because i don't "feel" you. eghh..

3. People who abuse the "buzz" function. hello, it's there so as for you to alert me if ur online. if we're already chatting and i, let's say, delay my reply for like 4 seconds, you can wait.

4. Impatient people. these people actually merajuk if i reply a tad bit late. wtf? are we in the 1st grade? obviously if i'm online, then i'll be doing other things as well. surfing the net, dl-ing songs. my world does not revolve around you, thank you very much.

5. i have a bone to pick with Yahoo!. so, you created the "appear offline" function. kudos! i love it! but then, you created the "see who's offline" function. hmm...out of all the nerds, geeks and smart people working for Yahoo! not one of you guys stood up and said "hey, that defeats the purpose!" well i'm gonna say it..it defeats the fucking purpose. erghhhh..

Okay, that's all i can think of right now. Don't get me wrong, there are still a lot of things I love about YM. hehe...i get to blabber with my friends for free and its so fun to get to know new people who can actually turn out to be very pleasant and we could actually be friends for a very long time. Viva le YM! ;-)

Slit

Today, your words felt like a knife. Honestly. Why do you do this so easily?

Busy Busy Me! haih..

No rest for the next two fucking weeks. Damn. I have work up to my nose. Damn. I don't know where to start. Damn. Sape nak tolong i? Damn. Need a PA, tapi xde duit nak hire. Damn. Need a vacation. Ouh, need money for that jugak. Damn. PLEH!

My upcoming birthday? hmm...ade keje jugak...
I guess this is my 21st birthday gift from the universe...grow up and own your responsibilities, biatch!! mm hmmm..

Our Most Valuable Duit Raya. Ever.

Cruella DeVulgar and her bundles of joy

Yay! we did it. actually Linda did it. i just "oohed and ahhhed" thru the phone. But yes, Cruella is a first time mummy and we're proud grandmamas! hahahahaha.. I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY I CANNOT REMEMBER THE MEANING OF HAPPY!

There are 5, i repeat FIVE little ones (count 'em if you can) and they're all oh-s0-adorable!. And the best part, all on the first of Syawal. Alhamdulillah.

Ngeeee~

I Won! yay!

Okay, so entered this Word Triathlon thingy in campus just now. we had to complete a crossword puzzle, an anogram and answer these questions regarding animal babies. (what is a baby aligator? alibaby..aha)

guess what?? I WON!! woot! woot! and with a score of 92 summore...:))

so as the first prize, i got MPH vouchers worth rm80. not much, but it's high time i get new books to fall in love with.

special thanx goes to L, because she pushed me to enter at the very last minute, and helped me a lot too! even though she kene marah by the organizers! hehe...that's y i love her!
my classmates helped too! thanx guys!

all in all, a jolly good day in campus! except for one or two mishaps. but we're good, or we will be good.heh. yay!

Food for Thought 01

Was bored, so wanted to share...

Robin Thicke - The Next George Michael?

To care, or not to care?

Seriously people, wake up and smell the coffee! Shh...hallo.

Feel the need to be pretentious every damn day of your life? You might be living by one/all of these philosophies:

1. Just fit in, no matter what.
2. I'm a people pleaser.
3. Everybody has to love me or I'm dead.
4. I'm great and you're not.Period.
5. I can't survive without these people.
6. A king can't rule without his subjects.
7. Am i the only cool person here?
8. OMFG! Did anyone see me do that?
9. All the cool people are flunking, so wht the heck?
10. Honesty is SO NOT the best policy!

Feel like you are superior and you don't give a crap about how other people might feel? Then these are your words of wisdom:

1. I'm doing it because I can.
2. Fuck you people. Fuck the world.
3. No one understands me, i'm too unique.
4. It's my way or the highway.
5. I don't affect you, you don't affect me.
6. Ahh, I just don't give a rat's ass.
7. Ask me if I care?
8. So?

These are the two shitty aspects in life that get us all bunged up. We bang into each other's lives pretending not to care OR pretending to care but in fact we're doing so much more than that.
Acting like something matters to you like your life depends on it only really works in the event that you're life actually DOES depend on it.
And pretending that something doesn't matter at all only proves that you are too selfish and that big of a chicken shit to announce to people that you actually do care and you actually do give a crap about what happens. In any matter, going out of your way to prove stuff to yourself and other people just shows that your not being true to number one, to yourself...the one who REALLY matters.

So there, do you really care or are you such a loser that you have to pretend to care (it makes you feel a part of something big, and it feels good dunit?), or do you actually give a shit and you make sure people don't know that coz then your weaknesses would be exposed. (we can't have that now, can we?)

In any case, both of these aspects are of the same nature. Both require you to PRETEND. to not be who you really are. and that. is. just. too. fucking. sad.
So, if either of you think you're above the other, you're dead wrong. it takes one pretentious idiot to recognize another and that's that.

We all do it from time to time. But the real question is, how far would you go to prove it?

Hear yee, hear yee!

Okay, i'm gonna like, vent. So, pegi mati, aku nak berbahasa ibunda sebentar.

Kepada lelaki lelaki yang perasan betul je, perasan bagus, perasan hot dan yang sewaktu dengannye..igt! lelaki di dunia bukan seorang. enjoy..

OI! pukimak! kau igt kau tu bagus sgt ke? eh, aku tak rugi la hilang someone like you! lagi senang hidup aku la bodoh! kalau sekor sekor hot, xpe aku paham. ni dengan boroi, dengan pendeknye dengan gigi xde, dengan english nye tak btul, dgn cocky tak bertempatnye..haih.. hah!!...no need to interpret anymore signals, or try to decode everything that you say! takan laaa kau ni bodoh sampai tahap mcm tu kot? oi! belajar tinggi-tinggi tapi bodoh bertingkat-tingkat! pukimak tak pukimak, kau igt aku heran kau tu nak salam tgn tok kadi? lagi aku suke la. as ur friend, kau kene la fikir i'm happy for you stupid!!! pukimak, pikir la kau punye bini tu nanti. okay, kalau kau ckp kau sayang bini kau, kau takan buat dia mcm ni. aku ni sape la kan...takpe, aku faham, mmg btul pun. TAPI wahai si pukimak, perangai kau yang sial ni dah sebati dengan darah daging kau la. hati kau tu dah busuk! dah kotor! dah hitam! aku ni isap rokok, paru-paru je yang kotor. aku buleh hidup dgn aman lagi la kot! WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK ALL THIS SHIT IS HAPPENING????? Reality therapy stupid! Go google it! Takde bende dlm dunia ni jadi sebab org lain punye pilihan, this is happening to you because of the choices YOU made. so sekarang dah salah, dah byk bende jadi busuk, kau nak start point fingers la? BOLEH! aku tak kesah. korang nak salahkan aku? BOLEH! aku silakan. TAPI! kau igt ni, every finger you point, ur pointing four fingers to urself. hah. kau nak carik gaduh ngan aku ke pukimak??? WRONG GIRL!!! org lain boleh la...hahah..mcm ni la, from now on, everything yang kau cakap, aku ya kan je...tapi dlm hati aku gelak teguling2! THINK ABT THAT! This applies to ALL YOU GUYS! bukan sorang dua je...korang tu, SAME JE SUMER!

Cakap dah settle, aku pun dah suke dh kau mcm dah change la sket. until you really said wht you meant, just now. baru la nak kuar dari mulut kau tu. knape tak mlm tu? knape kene nangis and mintak maaf when you still have shit to say? hah? eee...bodoh la bodoh! aku malu la bodoh, aku malu untuk kau, aku malu untuk aku. same je semua, perangai mcm betina. YOU GUYS ACT LIKE GIRLS!!! pastu kau kutuk kawan aku, kau cakap faggot la, gay la....AT LEAST HE TELLS THE TRUTH! tak pompuan mcm korang! ha..depan kitorang bukan main lagi cakap tak puas hati dgn ni la, nak belasah ni la, byk masalah dgn tu la...BILE TIME DH JUMPE RAMAI2, BOLA KORANG JATUH!!!! KOTE PUN TERGANTUNG JE MCM NAK JATUH! haih...BODOH TAU BODOH!

for once in your miserable lives, tell the fucking truth! sakit tu sekejap je, compared to the disasters that lies can bring! Dah nampak sendiri kan ape yang boleh jadi?? tak nampak kan??? IT'S ALL HAPPENING IN FRONT OF UR EYES STUPID! tlg la, cakap kau to logic, tak suke bende2 yang kabur. ni kabur lagi ke? haih...udah udah le tu... bukak mata, lihat dan belajar dari kesilapan!

Sucks to be me.

SHITTY WEEK! shitty shitty crappy sucky awful annoying ugly busuk stoopid dumbo very very very shitty week!

and i'm so not exagerating!

how do you redo your life?

Sunny side up? i understand things much more better now. Silver lining at its best.

hello earthlings.

FOOUHHHHHHH... tiup habuk! ngeee~

Getting Highhhh~

Haahh...after 4 days of not being able to do anything..i'm finally able to function again. I had the worst fever ever sampai my room yang panas tu buleh jadi sejuk kaw mcm ade super-cooling agent. w0o0o0...but anyways, now i'm feeling much better. maybe because of the fact that i'm heavily medicated...so life's good when ur high i guess..hahahaah..

Medicine gives me salty feelings in my underpants
and they make me wanna go do the cha-cha-cha with three banana leaves
in the middle of winter wearing my purple go-go boots! ngeee~

Next up on the agenda, we're moving!! Chiao old and stinky apartment, hello glorious and glamorous new apartment, FDL style! Woot! woot!

After some time...

Linda came to sp! and like...surprised me! wakakakak...sooo happy!!! ngeee...love u L! spank you for the surprise!!

And i can't wait to balik Melaka!!! it's sooo near, i can taste the air! huhuhu...can't wait! rindu everybody, and rindu my house...please...nak balik!!

I need you now, bitch!!

Primary topic - Where's my bitch when i need her the most?? oh i know...she's off galavanting around the pyramids while i'm stuck here sorting over problems that are not meant to be sorted alone!!! huhuhu...LINDA!!!!! balik sekarang! i just found out tht more shitty things happen when you're not around..WHY!?!? is it not meant to be?? oh god...

On half-hearted - I can't believe he let a stupid thing like that happen. I can't believe he was sooo stupid! oh god...laughs at other people but it happened to him in the end..soo stupid! In your face you stupid old man! (did i say wht he did was stupid yet?) that's because it is. i need to vent like it's nobody's business! Arrgghhh! I miss him jugak! how la?

On more happy news - I'm practically smiling from ear to ear! He's soo cute! Romantic tahap gaban! (i can't believe i said that, but i did). New man. just friends tho...with benefits! hahaha...no, not those benefits..but some benefits..maybe even better! oh god!! goosebumps all over me, hairs standing up straight, over the moon, on cloud nine and way waayy over the rainbow!!! can't stop thinking about it! PLEH!

On boredom - Hmm..its still there, so wht else is new?

On loneliness - Still lonely..

On activities at home - Baking, reading, downloading, movie and music!

On missing my friends - Well, not much i can do abt it...just missing them and doing it quietly so i don't annoy my parents (ocassionally screaming into my pillow because there's nothing i can do abt it) haih...

On life and the world - All in all, i give and i take...hmm...some good things happened, some bad things happened..life is a rollercoaster in the end.

(suke la pulak tulis blog mcm ni kan? my new format lah...hahaha)

xoxo-FinZ

Assumptions and Fickle-mindedness

OOKAAY...back in sp already and i can't believe the amount of boredom i'm in and i can't believe i'm longing for melaka! my god, i want to be in melaka!!! huhu..i need to teleport again!
but sp has its perks lah, firstly, no need to think about money sangat, only when its time to buy ciggies, and i dun smoke that much in sp..mcm control sket! woot! i need linda and kak d! huhuu

k..updates on the new man, he's soooo sweet! my god, mcm too good to be true, but then again, i like it, been a while since i've heard sweet nothings from a man, gives me tingles up and down my spine! hehe...o0o0..cud it be love? maybe, but one shall not assume. because if u assume, you make an ASS out of U and ME! haha...hope it goes well, oh and he's cute!! wtf? hehe..mcm nak "in your face" to some ppl la kan, but then, let it be...let's take the higher road shall we?

all in all, i'm smiling more now, although he's far away, but i've made it work before, i can do it again! hah! and i still nak balik melaka...rasa mcm sumthing missing la, i cannot do this! hish, fickle! at home nak balik melaka, in melaka nak go home pulak! cannot put them side by side ar? haih...

Holidays!! Woot!

Final exams are over and i can finally do fun and unadulterated (oops) stuff with guilt-free satisfaction. Haahhah...structures was fine, psychology was okay and french was not bad! hmm...all in all, i think might do well this term, wish me luck!! n btw, when are we gonna learn that procrastination is NOT GOOD?!? hmm..i still can't get passed the "nevermind there's always 2mrw" phase and i'm starting to get worried..wht if i suddenly start to procrastinate my bath time, or breathing. although i wish i could procrastinate my meals. gotta stop gotta stop gotta stop!

hmm..i'm off to sp in a few days, and linda will be in egypt! hah...bosan! i need my ms.darcy. how to get over boring days and nights without her voice screeching in my ear?? on the plus side, i'm sure i'm gonna get cool stuff from egypt! hehe...have fun girl! and bring ventolin! luv ya!

kak d's finals are not over yet, she still has two more heavy papers to finish, i hope my parents come after she's done..so i can teman her. hehe...good luck kak d! luv ya bitch!

cruella's fatter than ever and she's gonna go home with linda this holidays...omg, it just crossed my mind that when she's gone to egypt, her mom has to take care of cruella! oh no...good luck, aunty! huhuhu..best wishes and i'm not liable for any damage that cruella causes.

to conclude (cheewaahh), i hope i get good results, i hope i dun miss melaka too much and happy holidays folks! till next term, au revoir...

might be something...

Might be something going on...might be..

D-Day.Letting Go.I Need Help.

Its judgement day, folks! and i am........................SO NOT READY! hahaha...structures finals is the day after 2morrow..and i still feel like it's months away. which shows why i'm still blogging instead of studying, still watching movies instead of reading my notes and still crapping when i should be talking quantum physics! haih...PLEH~!

Btw, i'm back in melaka now. where it's not so foreign, but i miss home pulak! hmm...fickle! anyways, being home and all gave me some time to think about stuff. you know, life. my life...which is a soap opera if you ask me.(seriously, it's sooo true, it scares even me sometimes). well, when i started to sort out things, i found out that i am scared of a lot of things. I'm scared of losing my mum and dad, of losing my friends, and of losing the stability(sort of) that i have in life right now. i mean, what if..just what if everything is gone, what then? but then, i stop and look at the now, and not the "what could be's". and i've decided that living in the now is the best thing ever!!! no one knows what could happen in the future and some of us dread the thought of it, but the thing is, if we get too stressed about what will happen, we lose track of what is happening, and that would be a shame!

I have decided to take things as they come and to not be afraid of opportunities and of new horizons. i think it's about time! i need a change! hahahah...look out world here i come! yeehaaaa(and then the music stops and i fall flat on my butt) but nevermind, dusting myself off, and trying again! and again, and again, and again...yay!

I'm home...

I'm back home in sp..finally! been away for almost 4 months..the longest i've ever been away.

when i woke up the first morning, evrything seemed so foreign. the houses outside, my mom's gardening, my mango tree outside (which is big ass now!!). hmm..so different, so not melaka.

i miss linda, i miss dinie, i miss cruella! i miss half hearted jugak! but i want to be home for a while, i want to smell like home again. haih...i want to teleport!

Nevermind Me...

What is the game we're playing?
should I stick around for more?
Snap your fingers I'll coming running
Leave again when you're bored
with me
I'll make it easy

Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just cast shadows on your walls
Nevermind me, nevermind me
My God I feel so small
Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just cast shadows on your walls
Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just let myself out.

This facade that I'm stuck with
has got me wondering
Just tell me how you want me
and I'll be naked stumbling
just to get a reaction, any signs of love

Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just cast shadows on your walls
Nevermind me, nevermind me
My God I feel so small
Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just cast shadows on your walls
Nevermind me, nevermind me
I'll just let myself out.

Bottle up your smile
Pour it in a cup
I'll be on my way
once I've sobered up

I need a cuppa Joe!!

In class.Sleepy.Cannot open my eyes.Not enough sleep.Boring people talking in front.Half hearted love didn't say good morning.Still can't open my eyes.Need a cuppa joe.OH, forgot, no money.cannot do this.ZzZzzzz

Facade

French pulak after this...NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! i cannot do this esta bien! como amigo arrribaaa arribbaa!!

Get us a bloody pillow...pls?

My One True Love.

When you were a kid, the only love you knew was that of your parents. in fact, i bet you didnt even know what it was. they hugged you, kissed you, smiled at you, laughed with you, fed you, gave you money etc...well, as far as you, a kid, were concerned, that was what parents were supposed to do, that's their job! d'uh!
But as we grow older, we start to realize that they did what they did out of love. unconditional love for their children. and we, loved them back because they are our parents. good ol' mum and dad, always there when you need something. but is it unconditional?

yep! i'm a daddy's girl..thru and thru!
love you, pa!

I have to admit, there were times when i hugged my dad and kissed him on the forehead so that he'd feel better when he handed me that rm5o note. or hugged my mum so tightly just so she would let me have a sleepover. but do our parents feed us, clothe us and give us life because they want something from us?? i don't think so. unless you have really demented parents.

a mother and father's love beats any other that is on this earth. they are the ones we owe everything to. not our lowlife boyfriend or bitchy girlfriend or smelly-ass cat. the old folks deserve the world from us and we ought to be giving it to them by now.

aww..i miss you mama..

I've always thought of what i would do if my parents were no longer around. its just a thought that haunts me from time to time. and guess what, i still dont know! what the hell am i gonna do when my mama n papa are not around anymore??? i wish that day never comes, i never want it to.period. hmm...but the universe has something different in store for all of us.

so friends, go call ur mum and dad and tell them you love 'em with all your heart and that you're gonna be the world's greatest son/daughter ever!!! (i see a t-shirt or a mug coming along). i love my mama n papa, more than anything on earth, and they love me. they don't have to say it out loud or remind me every valentine's day, but i know because their love speaks louder than any words could ever speak. hmm..sure beats the "love" you get from a random guy or girl, huh?

Hope for the Hopeless.

When did you start promising yourself that this was gonna be the last time! i'm never gonna do this again...and then you promised yourself the same thing the next time, and the time after that, and after that and pretty soon you just forgot your promise and made a whole other new promise to yourself. hmm...ur hooked! hahaha...you low life addict! you no good person with no self-control! none whatsoever!!

truth be told, we're all hooked on to something, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, its happening. be it cigarettes, or dope or alcohol or a half-hearted lover (oops!heh.) yeap, love is the worst kind of drug.period.

you promise yourself that this is the last you're ever gonna let him/her use you, the last you're gonna let him/her call you names, insult you or treat you like a dog, and the last time you're ever gonna let him/her break your precious heart into a million pieces. well, it never really was the last time was it? it kept on going and going and going..because you had hope, and that hope kept you going thru all the mess, and it kept you from breaking down. that hope was your strength.and it still is. at least you think it is.

HOPE can be your friend or your foe. doesn't really go that well though, you're bound to get hurt sooner or later. well, there's always hope...haha hope again. yeap..hope's always there, in any kind of situation. ur drowning in the ocean, well there's always hope. ur dying of cancer, someone could find a cure in time to save you. you're waiting for him to show up at your doorstep but he doesn't. is there hope? hmm...torture, never-ending torture. but there's hope. your best friend and worst enemy in any kind of situation.

Life's a Soap Opera.

i hate to say something that is so cliche, but i have to i guess, under the circumstances...here goes, you never know what you have until you've lost it. it's soo effing true! okay, think about it, let's start small, u have a pen you keep in your bag, but you never use it, therefore you don't know you have it, but then one day, u suddenly need a pen! and guess what, you can't find the bloody pen!!! a'hahhh...what to do now?? same goes for people, friends, family, girlfriends, boyfriends,etc.. you never know who you have in your life, until you've lost them.

love and lost go hand in hand i guess, there cannot be one without the other. many of us question the existence of lost. why did my cat have to run away? why did my grandma have to die? or why did my best friend have to move away? maybe these things happen so that there can be new things in our lives. or, so that we get a wake up call from time to time, wake up calls that remind us that things DO change and nothing really remains the same forever. so, are we ready to learn our lesson yet?

it is human nature to take things for granted. no one can say he/she appreciates every single thing in their lives. human beings forget, they neglect and they forget to care. i guess we just have to sort out the things we can forget and the things that we have to care about. because everything/everyone does not hold the same level of passion in each individual. and now, a question pops up, what does/should one do in order to not be forgettable in someone else's life? funny thing huh, this universe, you can only do so much and yet, its all up to everyone else. not you. but everyone else. sucks huh?

Ink it, baby!

Tattoos are been something i've been dabbling in for quite some time now. but u know, the market being what it is in Malaysia..i'm still stuck with sharpies and markers.sigh. i need a needle now!! (hehe..need a needle.so funny!)

The Boys from Miami Ink-HAWT!!

before these past few years, people look at a person with a body full of tattoos with disgust. sume pun mcm tak suka...you would either call him/her a bad ass or sumthing even worse. but tattooing is just the same as singing or dancing or writing in some ways. people do all these things to express emotions, express feelings and vent their sorrows. tattoos speak in ways that normal things can't speak. you tattoo an image of your dead father or an image of a bird to symbolize freedom or leaving home when ur 18....these are just some of the things that a tattoo means to people who do it and soo much more.

now, there a re documentaries/reality shows that cater to the untold stories of the art of tattooing. like, miami ink and the recent spin-off, LA ink. these shows tell the stories behind the people, the art, the enthusiasm and the emotions that go into the process of creating the perfect tattoo for each individual.

Kat Von D and her LA Ink

I've started to get my tattoo portfolio together. who knows? maybe would do me some good in the future.

Tribal tattoos - my fav

i admire the fact that one single image, no matter how big or small, is permanently imprinted on someone's body, and it is not just there for kicks, its there because that person wants the world to know what it means. they want the world to know now much they miss their dead son/daughter/wife/mother/husband/father or where they have been in life or what they want to accomplish in the future. a tattoo is so much more than being a bad ass or trying to show off. it is an art, it is emotional and it is something that you carry for the rest of your life.

Tattoos are judged based on complexity. The more colours and shading the is, the more expensive it gets.- i love this backpiece!

Get Yourself a Bad Boy!

You know the old saying that girls always go for the bad boys. i think it has basis. why do women always get stuck in a relationship and then they question themselves "how the fish did i get myself into this??" well, honey, you dove right into it. voluntarily!!!

somehow bad boys have this ability to charm you with their sweet nothings and then promise you the world. not to say you were stupid for falling prey to them, but it is the way they say it..they way they look into your eyes and make you feel like they can never lie. they way they put their arm around your shoulders, telling everyone "back off dude! she's mine". we all like that feeling huh? yeap...we've all been there..but it has never been a lesson to any of us.

i think the "bad boy" syndrome has taken over good guys as well. when good guys start to feel like they are neglected by womankind, they decide to become bad boys themselves just to stick their fingers into the honey jar..pathethic? maybe not. if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. as sorry as it sounds, it's sorry-er when it doesnt work for the good guys. they can't lie, they don't cheat, they keep their promises and are always on time for dates. hmm..sounds like an ideal partner doensn't it? it is...but why do girls still end up with bad boys???

it's something called "The Ego of A Woman". (yeap, we have it too) . a woman always wants to feel like she is the one with the ultimate power to transform a bad boy into a sappy-sorry-pushover good guy. they want to be able to tell their friends "i whipped that one into shape" or "he only answers to me". well, girls...stop it. ur just insulting their intelligence. men do need discipline from time to time..but if you transform colin ferrell into clay aiken..tell me how long ur gonna stick around. we love bad boys..admit it. so once you get your head in, play it cool..u might just be the one he's looking for.

friends.sisters.heart.soul

You know what...i've been going on and on about life laa, my half hearted love laa, my kitten laa..but i've never talked about the people that matter the most to me. Linda and Kak D! they're my housemates, my bestfriends and my sisters. i love them to death and would do anything for them.

That's maslinda ayu anak zainal and she basically my rock. she has answers for everything (eventhough sumtimes they're crap) and she can cheer me up anytime i tell her to (sit, roll over..etc..). she's the most pendek in the house but she got the biggest butt! hahahah..she's loud, bossy and sengal sumtimes but i'd love her all the same even if she was the sengalest person on earth!!!

Kak D is the mummy and my poofy pillow when i need it. and we love her coz sometimes she can be really clueless in such a cute way u cannot really marah her. she loves to put on loud music until we pekak and she loves her lappy a lot!! Kak D is really comel when she gets all excited about something, she won't stop talking...haha.. that's my Kak D! and i love her!!

so that's my family away from family and we live together like one in our home.our home. we cry, we laugh, we curse and we swear. i love you guys and won't trade you for 10 million bucks (100 million? i'll think abt it.) love you guys. xoxo-FinZ

It's raining money!! it's not? well, it should!

Lately i've been having nightmares that are waayyyy too close to reality. hmm..some are scary, some really stupid and some really...real! i call them nightmares instead of dreams because i dun want them to come true.coz that wud like really suck.

so,linda and i decided to skip kesatria today. it's just sooo cloudy outside and windy and all sleepy-ish weather..wht were we, two hopeless girls, supposed to do?? we were influenced..it wasn't us..blame the universe.blame it i say!! ahahaha

some indonesian people came to campus today and started preaching(yes) about ESQ. emotional and spiritual quotient. there's a mouthful for ya..didn't stick around to find out what they were talking about, so ridh n me went for brunch(So new york of us huh?). hehe..

the bills came today..arrgghh...i feel all grown up..the old "bills on the counter need to be paid" shit. yea...except grown ups have jobs and pay. i..i..i have a messy room, clothes hanging from everywhere, a stack of assignments that (may) need my attention and a kitten who isn't potty-trained.go figure!

beware of the bug!

hmm...i'm okay...but everyone around me is falling ill. everyone's either sneezing, or having a fever or a headache or sumthing. linda cannot bweave, kak D is pulling her hair like crazy, aboy is crying on the phone (cian) , the singaporean has stomach disease (maybe alergic to malaysian air or sumthin) and maybe some other poor soul out there sumwhere..sheesh...get some antibodies will ya??

other than that...everything's peachy. have to present my speech 2morrow..not prepared yet..as usual, me and procrastination..we shud get married. hmm..oh yea..n ella peed on our extension wire and caused it to explode!!! huhu.. question: how to potty train a kitten without losing ur dignity? ( i mean by not communicating with the kitten and then nodding like you think she understands you) what a pity...hmm..

ciggie smoke in my eyes.ouch.

assignments here, assignments there, assignments everywhere!!!!! need to get started now!!! *pause* maybe later.procrastinator!!!! my middle name..hahahahah! yesterday, we went for kesatria at the Botanical Garden. it was fun. the whole class was there but it seemed like it was only linda and i. haha..crapping away while everyone else was silent. and i kept making her laugh while she was drinking.choking more like it. haha..we love brisk walking.and we're good at it!

Hah...been some time..but i'm back. nuthin much happened really. just been going thru some rough times. hopefully will be okay soon. been hearing some nasty rumours about me too. let's just hope that's all they are.rumours. i dunno why people can't just say what they mean..it's not that hard you know.

i mean, why can't you just say what you mean? Okay, probably you might hurt their feelings for a while..but that's it. it will be fine eventually. hah..where's the harm in telling the truth??? hmm..i guess something went wrong sumwhere when we were growing up. yea, it's noble and all trying not to hurt the one you care about..but you just end up hurting them more when you hide shit like that..well..i hope ur happy now.i'm not.

the vicious cycle.

u know what..sometimes when you tell urself it's gonna be okay, that's when things really won't be okay.period. i dunno, i just feel like it's not gonna end the way i want it to. i just feel like it's gonna stay this way until one of us decide to so something about it. and i doubt i have the courage to do anything abt it. i just feel like it's not gonna happen. like ever.

it used to be fun, really fun. i used to feel special, loved, wanted, and desired. those feelings rarely come around now. and i hate it. i want him. like really really want him. but the thing is when ur in this kind of relationship, u can never seperate the truth from the lies. they are always one of the same and he thinks that's alright. it's not. it never is. when u know that that person will never leave you, will you have the fear of lying? will you ever feel like u'll lose the person if you do something wrong? no. because that person has already shown u signs or even told you they're never gonna leave you. well, i'm that person. so why should he stop lying when he knows
that i won't ever leave him, even if i find out that he's been lying to be face. am i digging my own sorry grave?maybe. if only i could tell him all these things. i used to think i could do so. but i don't feel like that anymore. i guess that's what happens when an affair starts to become a relationship.

why is it that when ur having an affair, the person whom ur having it with would seem like the world's most perfect man. he is the one who understands you the best and he is the one you would turn to, and he is definitely the one who would have the upper hand when you compare your affair with your relationship. an affair seems like the perfect escape from a dissatisfying, boring relationship. but what do you do when the affair starts to become and turn into the relationship that is dissatisfying and boring and most of all heart-breaking? yep, the one you were trying to escape from in the first place. hmm..something to think about, isn't it?

oh, no she didn't!

i just have to get this off my chest! okay, this girl named neeney from our campus actually had the nerve to label us TESL students as retarded. hmm..i guess she cudn't find a dictionary or sumthing. but anyways, she claimed that the TESL students in her mandarin class are retarded and therefore have no charisma whatsoever to become future teachers.

well, i'm not gonna label her in return, i'm gonna say sumthing that i think you might find staggeringly true! first of all, we, TESL students aren't afraid to speak our mind and if we feel like there are things that we can say, we'll say it. we're loud, we're confident and we love it! instead of labelling us as RETARDED, try and observe your kind first. let me take a wild guess, in class, i bet you guys just keep quiet, look down at your uninteresting notes, repeat what the lecturer says like a mindless mime and when you observe a group of students who actually like to have conversations in class and who actually like to be active and participate in class activities, you laugh at them and call them retarded. hmm...it's sad really. honey, you need a mirror.

i feel soo much better now. :)

devil-ish encounters.plural.

Bonjour!!! the weekend is here! at laaaast..i have the weekend and i have my allowance..yay! maybe gonna go watch Rambo4 with Hafeez. but we'll see..never know his plans always change at the last minute. we went to France again today.hehe. sort of. we learnt how to describe a person. and guess what, i'm grosse. which means "fat" in French. out of all the bloody words in the English language, it had to be that one.well, the world's not fair..u take what you get. and we finally got the French textbook we were waiting for...finally..

speaking of textbooks, who in the world said that lecturers can force students to buy these books even if we dun wanna?? a stupid thin book costs 40 bucks just because cambridge published it and my lecturer said, "YES! u have to buy it".. well, what if i say i dun have money for it? is that my fault?? where does it say that we HAVE to BUY books.i stress BUY here because it involves money. yes, money! i wouldn't mind if i was getting paid to go to campus, like the lecturers do. the fact of the matter is, i get money from my father and no one has the right to tell me that i hav to spend that money on something i possibly wouldn't use at all. c'mon, you can only push us sooo far.damn pissed off about this. textbooks are the devil, heck! my lecturers could be devils. where is the justice??

okay so, we, linda and i, just realized that we only despise F when he is with N. without that self-obsessed woman, F is a doll. and then we realized that we used to hate N's ex-man when he was with her. it's like, N's evil aura is sooo eww that it spills over to whoever N touches. OMG! N's the seed of evil i tell you. now that N and the ex-man are over and N's trying to fill F up, we love the ex-man!! best friends! it's sad that one woman can cause all this commotion. i guess we just don't like it when foreigners try to destroy something good that we've tried to build up for soo long. hmm..makes you wonder what the human being is capable of when desperate for attention.for all the wrong reasons.

please F, see the light!! see the devil for who she really is!! we love you. please come back.

mime.half-hearted love.juice.

okay, so, linda, ridhwan and me have to perform something for literature class 2mrw. we have to mime. so, we chose britney's 'you drive me crazy', 'everytime' and 'toxic'. we watched this guy named josh doing it on youtube so we got the rough idea of it. kinda fun once we got the ball rolling and i sweated like hell! workout! yay! i haven't danced to a choreography in a while so i forgot how good it felt. yeah! damn good.

went to His place today. saw Him. making some stupid face because of something bad that happened between Him and his friends. i guess it should blow over soon. those boys have kindergarden children in their boxers, explains the attitude.so not surprised! so maybe it's not love, maybe it's a relationship, a half-hearted relationship that we both get a kick out of. maybe we're just not ready to call it quits. well, i love a bit of drama and mystery in movies, why not have some in my life? seems fair enough.

latest juice: F got all hot and heavy with N and proved the ex-boyfriend so so wrong!! could it be love? but is there trouble boiling between F and his friends because of N's presence? we'll just have to wait and see.

last place.again.

i woke up today with an eye sore.literally. one eye. redder than the other and itches like a mother. all is under control though...bought some eyedrops at the pharmacy. linda and i killed the frost that was accumulating in our freezer..and got really excited doing it.like we always do. but then, we're getting really good at it.

the rest of the day, i kept on thinking about Him. linda said no..but she can't stop me from doing it if it's in my mind rite? i've been letting Him have his cake and eat it as well. he's got the best of both worlds (if you know wht i mean) and he's loving it. and i'm back where i always end up, sad and depressed over a guy who probably doesn't deserve me in the first place. is it the question of love or is it the question of need? two very different things that we easily confuse ourselves with. what if he is the person you see everyday, does that make him the person you love or who loves you? or do we simply tell ourselves that so that we can bear their presence everyday. so that we feel better when we do spend so much time with that person that it seems like love. in reality really, we need that other person because he makes us feel special, treats us like we are the ones meant to be with them. another question to ask is, do they please us because they want to?because it really is love?because we please them?or so that we please them? i've got all tangled up in your underwear now huh? good.

being the other one, the other person in the picture is never easy. no one wants a stranger in their perfectly framed picture of happiness. we know that, we all know that. but why still, do we subject ourselves to it? why do we let ourselves be slaves to our emotions when we know that there is nothing worst than being the third person. but everytime i tell myself this, it is always overshadowed by his sweet nothings in my ear, passionate kisses and wonderful hugs. i guess that's my weakness. hopeless romantic. since when was that wrong?

Mundane Monday

My first blog! Yay!.. ok so..woke up..freaaakin early, as usual, to class it is! one thing annoying about mondays is the fact that the weekend just ended, and you suddenly, somehow just remembered all the things you were supposed to do during the weekend. bummer. so as if creeping out of bed wasn't hard enough, the thought of the agonizing 6 hours to come just topped it off with a bang!...

aahh...sitting in class, listening to one person talk for 2 solid hours (how do they do that??) and just hoping for the minutes to fly on by..but they don't...so you wait and wait. Mundane Monday..every freaakin Monday.

But then again, there's nothing a quick ciggie can't fix. so i move on. i'll survive. i assure you..i will. luckily, one of the lecturers cancelled her class, so..not such a bad monday today. i'm looking forward to next week. i heart stuctures now. :)