50, Overweight, with a Textbook in hand.

Arrggghhhhh!

seriously, i've had enough of classes and books and tests. give me that damn degree already!!
tolonglaaaa..i feel like i'm gonna be 50 by the time i can afford my vacay to Paris. how la to score my hot Jean-Luc?

here's a few reasons why i think i should get that degree like, now!:

1. i think i've learnt enough about being teacher since we're learning the same thing over and over again every bloody semester. and they always say "ouh, it's more detailed this semester". sounds familiar?

2. it's gonna save a hell of a lot of moolah! namely ; 1. my parents' money, so they don't have to give me allowances anymore, and i can start making my own money. 2. The govt's money, so you don't to supply my ptptn anymore, and i can start paying back the money i owe the govt.

3. i'm already seriously malas nak sgt2 menyampah dah nak bgn pagi and pegi class! haih...enough is enough!

dah la...

i think that's abt it..


love,
Annoyed.

Heavy-eyed but Helpless!

OMG! This is the first time ever that i feel effing sleepy but i can't sleep...

so...get it?

Heavy-eyed, but utterly helpless!

PLEH!!

Online Drama.

I love IM-ming. Always have, always will. some people would think that this allows me to be someone i'm not. who's gonna know right? but it is quite the opposite actually. When i'm in cyber space, i get to be exactly who I am, and the best part is, it is judgement free. no one cares who you are, no one judges. there are people who lie about who they are and shit, but hey, that's not me.

However, there are certain things i can do without when i'm logged onto my Yahoo! Messenger.

1. Some guy wanting to talk about sex but doesn't have the balls to say it, instead he says "hey, you ni open-minded tak". so, if i say i am, then i should automatically start harassing you with my emoticons, is that it? get a dictionary. i'll give you a hint; open-minded does not mean sex maniac.

2. People who abuse the availability of my webcam. if i deny you access, it means i don't want you, a stranger, to see me in the comfort of my own home. do not say i'm sombong just because i don't "feel" you. eghh..

3. People who abuse the "buzz" function. hello, it's there so as for you to alert me if ur online. if we're already chatting and i, let's say, delay my reply for like 4 seconds, you can wait.

4. Impatient people. these people actually merajuk if i reply a tad bit late. wtf? are we in the 1st grade? obviously if i'm online, then i'll be doing other things as well. surfing the net, dl-ing songs. my world does not revolve around you, thank you very much.

5. i have a bone to pick with Yahoo!. so, you created the "appear offline" function. kudos! i love it! but then, you created the "see who's offline" function. hmm...out of all the nerds, geeks and smart people working for Yahoo! not one of you guys stood up and said "hey, that defeats the purpose!" well i'm gonna say it..it defeats the fucking purpose. erghhhh..

Okay, that's all i can think of right now. Don't get me wrong, there are still a lot of things I love about YM. hehe...i get to blabber with my friends for free and its so fun to get to know new people who can actually turn out to be very pleasant and we could actually be friends for a very long time. Viva le YM! ;-)

To care, or not to care?

Seriously people, wake up and smell the coffee! Shh...hallo.

Feel the need to be pretentious every damn day of your life? You might be living by one/all of these philosophies:

1. Just fit in, no matter what.
2. I'm a people pleaser.
3. Everybody has to love me or I'm dead.
4. I'm great and you're not.Period.
5. I can't survive without these people.
6. A king can't rule without his subjects.
7. Am i the only cool person here?
8. OMFG! Did anyone see me do that?
9. All the cool people are flunking, so wht the heck?
10. Honesty is SO NOT the best policy!

Feel like you are superior and you don't give a crap about how other people might feel? Then these are your words of wisdom:

1. I'm doing it because I can.
2. Fuck you people. Fuck the world.
3. No one understands me, i'm too unique.
4. It's my way or the highway.
5. I don't affect you, you don't affect me.
6. Ahh, I just don't give a rat's ass.
7. Ask me if I care?
8. So?

These are the two shitty aspects in life that get us all bunged up. We bang into each other's lives pretending not to care OR pretending to care but in fact we're doing so much more than that.
Acting like something matters to you like your life depends on it only really works in the event that you're life actually DOES depend on it.
And pretending that something doesn't matter at all only proves that you are too selfish and that big of a chicken shit to announce to people that you actually do care and you actually do give a crap about what happens. In any matter, going out of your way to prove stuff to yourself and other people just shows that your not being true to number one, to yourself...the one who REALLY matters.

So there, do you really care or are you such a loser that you have to pretend to care (it makes you feel a part of something big, and it feels good dunit?), or do you actually give a shit and you make sure people don't know that coz then your weaknesses would be exposed. (we can't have that now, can we?)

In any case, both of these aspects are of the same nature. Both require you to PRETEND. to not be who you really are. and that. is. just. too. fucking. sad.
So, if either of you think you're above the other, you're dead wrong. it takes one pretentious idiot to recognize another and that's that.

We all do it from time to time. But the real question is, how far would you go to prove it?

I need a cuppa Joe!!

In class.Sleepy.Cannot open my eyes.Not enough sleep.Boring people talking in front.Half hearted love didn't say good morning.Still can't open my eyes.Need a cuppa joe.OH, forgot, no money.cannot do this.ZzZzzzz

Facade

French pulak after this...NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! i cannot do this esta bien! como amigo arrribaaa arribbaa!!

Get us a bloody pillow...pls?

My One True Love.

When you were a kid, the only love you knew was that of your parents. in fact, i bet you didnt even know what it was. they hugged you, kissed you, smiled at you, laughed with you, fed you, gave you money etc...well, as far as you, a kid, were concerned, that was what parents were supposed to do, that's their job! d'uh!
But as we grow older, we start to realize that they did what they did out of love. unconditional love for their children. and we, loved them back because they are our parents. good ol' mum and dad, always there when you need something. but is it unconditional?

yep! i'm a daddy's girl..thru and thru!
love you, pa!

I have to admit, there were times when i hugged my dad and kissed him on the forehead so that he'd feel better when he handed me that rm5o note. or hugged my mum so tightly just so she would let me have a sleepover. but do our parents feed us, clothe us and give us life because they want something from us?? i don't think so. unless you have really demented parents.

a mother and father's love beats any other that is on this earth. they are the ones we owe everything to. not our lowlife boyfriend or bitchy girlfriend or smelly-ass cat. the old folks deserve the world from us and we ought to be giving it to them by now.

aww..i miss you mama..

I've always thought of what i would do if my parents were no longer around. its just a thought that haunts me from time to time. and guess what, i still dont know! what the hell am i gonna do when my mama n papa are not around anymore??? i wish that day never comes, i never want it to.period. hmm...but the universe has something different in store for all of us.

so friends, go call ur mum and dad and tell them you love 'em with all your heart and that you're gonna be the world's greatest son/daughter ever!!! (i see a t-shirt or a mug coming along). i love my mama n papa, more than anything on earth, and they love me. they don't have to say it out loud or remind me every valentine's day, but i know because their love speaks louder than any words could ever speak. hmm..sure beats the "love" you get from a random guy or girl, huh?

Hope for the Hopeless.

When did you start promising yourself that this was gonna be the last time! i'm never gonna do this again...and then you promised yourself the same thing the next time, and the time after that, and after that and pretty soon you just forgot your promise and made a whole other new promise to yourself. hmm...ur hooked! hahaha...you low life addict! you no good person with no self-control! none whatsoever!!

truth be told, we're all hooked on to something, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, its happening. be it cigarettes, or dope or alcohol or a half-hearted lover (oops!heh.) yeap, love is the worst kind of drug.period.

you promise yourself that this is the last you're ever gonna let him/her use you, the last you're gonna let him/her call you names, insult you or treat you like a dog, and the last time you're ever gonna let him/her break your precious heart into a million pieces. well, it never really was the last time was it? it kept on going and going and going..because you had hope, and that hope kept you going thru all the mess, and it kept you from breaking down. that hope was your strength.and it still is. at least you think it is.

HOPE can be your friend or your foe. doesn't really go that well though, you're bound to get hurt sooner or later. well, there's always hope...haha hope again. yeap..hope's always there, in any kind of situation. ur drowning in the ocean, well there's always hope. ur dying of cancer, someone could find a cure in time to save you. you're waiting for him to show up at your doorstep but he doesn't. is there hope? hmm...torture, never-ending torture. but there's hope. your best friend and worst enemy in any kind of situation.

Get Yourself a Bad Boy!

You know the old saying that girls always go for the bad boys. i think it has basis. why do women always get stuck in a relationship and then they question themselves "how the fish did i get myself into this??" well, honey, you dove right into it. voluntarily!!!

somehow bad boys have this ability to charm you with their sweet nothings and then promise you the world. not to say you were stupid for falling prey to them, but it is the way they say it..they way they look into your eyes and make you feel like they can never lie. they way they put their arm around your shoulders, telling everyone "back off dude! she's mine". we all like that feeling huh? yeap...we've all been there..but it has never been a lesson to any of us.

i think the "bad boy" syndrome has taken over good guys as well. when good guys start to feel like they are neglected by womankind, they decide to become bad boys themselves just to stick their fingers into the honey jar..pathethic? maybe not. if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. as sorry as it sounds, it's sorry-er when it doesnt work for the good guys. they can't lie, they don't cheat, they keep their promises and are always on time for dates. hmm..sounds like an ideal partner doensn't it? it is...but why do girls still end up with bad boys???

it's something called "The Ego of A Woman". (yeap, we have it too) . a woman always wants to feel like she is the one with the ultimate power to transform a bad boy into a sappy-sorry-pushover good guy. they want to be able to tell their friends "i whipped that one into shape" or "he only answers to me". well, girls...stop it. ur just insulting their intelligence. men do need discipline from time to time..but if you transform colin ferrell into clay aiken..tell me how long ur gonna stick around. we love bad boys..admit it. so once you get your head in, play it cool..u might just be the one he's looking for.

It's raining money!! it's not? well, it should!

Lately i've been having nightmares that are waayyyy too close to reality. hmm..some are scary, some really stupid and some really...real! i call them nightmares instead of dreams because i dun want them to come true.coz that wud like really suck.

so,linda and i decided to skip kesatria today. it's just sooo cloudy outside and windy and all sleepy-ish weather..wht were we, two hopeless girls, supposed to do?? we were influenced..it wasn't us..blame the universe.blame it i say!! ahahaha

some indonesian people came to campus today and started preaching(yes) about ESQ. emotional and spiritual quotient. there's a mouthful for ya..didn't stick around to find out what they were talking about, so ridh n me went for brunch(So new york of us huh?). hehe..

the bills came today..arrgghh...i feel all grown up..the old "bills on the counter need to be paid" shit. yea...except grown ups have jobs and pay. i..i..i have a messy room, clothes hanging from everywhere, a stack of assignments that (may) need my attention and a kitten who isn't potty-trained.go figure!