So, was talking to an old friend the other day and as usual, we started plunging into the deep end of girl talks. She started telling me stories of her sex life and how it was going down the drain. She said "I think the love's gone". So, I sat and listened as she went on and on. I think I almost shed a tear, honestly. Not because they might not love each other anymore, but because she let the sex go sour. Ladies, you NEVER ever ever let the sex go sour.
Men are boneheads when it comes to emotions and feelings during sex, so it is ultimately up to you to keep it hot and sexy! Here's a thing or two you can do...
1. Be Spontaneous.
You know how it is, you're in a relationship for a few years and suddenly everything is a routine. Movies on Friday nights, dinner dates every Monday and Wednesday and the routine love-making every Saturday and Sunday nights. BOH-RING!!
Come on people, where's the excitement? Try this...the next time you're both at home, watching a movie or something. Quietly slip into something uber sexy underneath, couple it with a pair of hooker heels, spritz on some of your irresistible perfume and call him into the bedroom. Yes, a bit of planning is required..but he doesn't need to know that. I find that telling him there's an emergency works wonders. Wait till he finds out that the emergency is his super hawt woman sitting on the bed waiting for him. It'll knock his socks off! amongst other things. Other than that, don't limit yourself to sex at night only, have it in the morning when you've both just got up, have it in the afternoon, at 4am in the morning, wake him up from sleep. The list can go on.
2. Delay.Delay.Delay!!
Delay as in, delay the sex for as long as possible. Spend more time on foreplay. If he can't find it in his thick skull that foreplay is awesome, then you make bloody well sure that he wants to. Kissing, touching, caressing, fondling, oral..the works! This is probably a good time to start semi-dirty talking. Tell him what makes you feel good and what you want/need him to do. Men always feel better when you say you need something, as opposed to wanting something. Remember! It's not just about you, he's in this as well. Ask him what he needs you to do. Ask him if it feels good, ask him if he wants more. Here's a good tip; put on some soothing, sexy music. Continue your foreplay for at least 3 songs, so you'll know you've have at least 15 good minutes of building all that sexual tension.
3. Make Love
What is the difference between making love and having sex? EVERYTHING! Do not let your man get used to having sex for a few minutes until he ejaculates and then it's all over, leaving you with that empty feeling. Train him, that's right, train him to make love. Go slowly but surely. Build it up so that the both of you can orgasm. Mix and match positions so that it does not become routine and boring. Be adventurous. Missionary is all fine and good but let's not colour within the lines so often. Do it doggy-style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl etc etc etc. There are so many things you can do in the bedroom and you don't need a manual for it. Explore your surroundings and just go for it. Got a bed post? Tie him up! Got a couch in your room? Go do it there! Go make love in the bathtub/ jacuzzi/ swimming pool! Stand up, sit down, have him lift you up. Ladies, you've got all the tools, you don't need someone telling you how to use it.
4. Talk about it.
Never tell yourself that it's wrong to talk about sex, especially with your man. Your happiness depends on it. If he doesn't satisfy you, you have the right to tell him. If he says he doesn't care, then he's not the man for you. You, yourself should ask him if he is satisfied in bed. Don't claim that you're the only one doing all the work. He might not be enjoying the sex as well. So you see, talk about it. Don't be shy. Don't tell me you can strip naked and have sex with someone but not have the guts to talk about it.
So ladies, those were just some things you can do to spice it up! Remember, if you're not happy with the sex, take the bull by its horns and deal wit it! Be creative, be wild, be different. We're women, God gave us all the tools, we just need to use them!
Good luck!
Why am I talking about this? Because you're not.
Safe sex always!
xoxo,
S.M
