Get Yourself a Bad Boy!

You know the old saying that girls always go for the bad boys. i think it has basis. why do women always get stuck in a relationship and then they question themselves "how the fish did i get myself into this??" well, honey, you dove right into it. voluntarily!!!

somehow bad boys have this ability to charm you with their sweet nothings and then promise you the world. not to say you were stupid for falling prey to them, but it is the way they say it..they way they look into your eyes and make you feel like they can never lie. they way they put their arm around your shoulders, telling everyone "back off dude! she's mine". we all like that feeling huh? yeap...we've all been there..but it has never been a lesson to any of us.

i think the "bad boy" syndrome has taken over good guys as well. when good guys start to feel like they are neglected by womankind, they decide to become bad boys themselves just to stick their fingers into the honey jar..pathethic? maybe not. if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. as sorry as it sounds, it's sorry-er when it doesnt work for the good guys. they can't lie, they don't cheat, they keep their promises and are always on time for dates. hmm..sounds like an ideal partner doensn't it? it is...but why do girls still end up with bad boys???

it's something called "The Ego of A Woman". (yeap, we have it too) . a woman always wants to feel like she is the one with the ultimate power to transform a bad boy into a sappy-sorry-pushover good guy. they want to be able to tell their friends "i whipped that one into shape" or "he only answers to me". well, girls...stop it. ur just insulting their intelligence. men do need discipline from time to time..but if you transform colin ferrell into clay aiken..tell me how long ur gonna stick around. we love bad boys..admit it. so once you get your head in, play it cool..u might just be the one he's looking for.

friends.sisters.heart.soul

You know what...i've been going on and on about life laa, my half hearted love laa, my kitten laa..but i've never talked about the people that matter the most to me. Linda and Kak D! they're my housemates, my bestfriends and my sisters. i love them to death and would do anything for them.

That's maslinda ayu anak zainal and she basically my rock. she has answers for everything (eventhough sumtimes they're crap) and she can cheer me up anytime i tell her to (sit, roll over..etc..). she's the most pendek in the house but she got the biggest butt! hahahah..she's loud, bossy and sengal sumtimes but i'd love her all the same even if she was the sengalest person on earth!!!

Kak D is the mummy and my poofy pillow when i need it. and we love her coz sometimes she can be really clueless in such a cute way u cannot really marah her. she loves to put on loud music until we pekak and she loves her lappy a lot!! Kak D is really comel when she gets all excited about something, she won't stop talking...haha.. that's my Kak D! and i love her!!

so that's my family away from family and we live together like one in our home.our home. we cry, we laugh, we curse and we swear. i love you guys and won't trade you for 10 million bucks (100 million? i'll think abt it.) love you guys. xoxo-FinZ

It's raining money!! it's not? well, it should!

Lately i've been having nightmares that are waayyyy too close to reality. hmm..some are scary, some really stupid and some really...real! i call them nightmares instead of dreams because i dun want them to come true.coz that wud like really suck.

so,linda and i decided to skip kesatria today. it's just sooo cloudy outside and windy and all sleepy-ish weather..wht were we, two hopeless girls, supposed to do?? we were influenced..it wasn't us..blame the universe.blame it i say!! ahahaha

some indonesian people came to campus today and started preaching(yes) about ESQ. emotional and spiritual quotient. there's a mouthful for ya..didn't stick around to find out what they were talking about, so ridh n me went for brunch(So new york of us huh?). hehe..

the bills came today..arrgghh...i feel all grown up..the old "bills on the counter need to be paid" shit. yea...except grown ups have jobs and pay. i..i..i have a messy room, clothes hanging from everywhere, a stack of assignments that (may) need my attention and a kitten who isn't potty-trained.go figure!

beware of the bug!

hmm...i'm okay...but everyone around me is falling ill. everyone's either sneezing, or having a fever or a headache or sumthing. linda cannot bweave, kak D is pulling her hair like crazy, aboy is crying on the phone (cian) , the singaporean has stomach disease (maybe alergic to malaysian air or sumthin) and maybe some other poor soul out there sumwhere..sheesh...get some antibodies will ya??

other than that...everything's peachy. have to present my speech 2morrow..not prepared yet..as usual, me and procrastination..we shud get married. hmm..oh yea..n ella peed on our extension wire and caused it to explode!!! huhu.. question: how to potty train a kitten without losing ur dignity? ( i mean by not communicating with the kitten and then nodding like you think she understands you) what a pity...hmm..

ciggie smoke in my eyes.ouch.

assignments here, assignments there, assignments everywhere!!!!! need to get started now!!! *pause* maybe later.procrastinator!!!! my middle name..hahahahah! yesterday, we went for kesatria at the Botanical Garden. it was fun. the whole class was there but it seemed like it was only linda and i. haha..crapping away while everyone else was silent. and i kept making her laugh while she was drinking.choking more like it. haha..we love brisk walking.and we're good at it!

Hah...been some time..but i'm back. nuthin much happened really. just been going thru some rough times. hopefully will be okay soon. been hearing some nasty rumours about me too. let's just hope that's all they are.rumours. i dunno why people can't just say what they mean..it's not that hard you know.

i mean, why can't you just say what you mean? Okay, probably you might hurt their feelings for a while..but that's it. it will be fine eventually. hah..where's the harm in telling the truth??? hmm..i guess something went wrong sumwhere when we were growing up. yea, it's noble and all trying not to hurt the one you care about..but you just end up hurting them more when you hide shit like that..well..i hope ur happy now.i'm not.

the vicious cycle.

u know what..sometimes when you tell urself it's gonna be okay, that's when things really won't be okay.period. i dunno, i just feel like it's not gonna end the way i want it to. i just feel like it's gonna stay this way until one of us decide to so something about it. and i doubt i have the courage to do anything abt it. i just feel like it's not gonna happen. like ever.

it used to be fun, really fun. i used to feel special, loved, wanted, and desired. those feelings rarely come around now. and i hate it. i want him. like really really want him. but the thing is when ur in this kind of relationship, u can never seperate the truth from the lies. they are always one of the same and he thinks that's alright. it's not. it never is. when u know that that person will never leave you, will you have the fear of lying? will you ever feel like u'll lose the person if you do something wrong? no. because that person has already shown u signs or even told you they're never gonna leave you. well, i'm that person. so why should he stop lying when he knows
that i won't ever leave him, even if i find out that he's been lying to be face. am i digging my own sorry grave?maybe. if only i could tell him all these things. i used to think i could do so. but i don't feel like that anymore. i guess that's what happens when an affair starts to become a relationship.

why is it that when ur having an affair, the person whom ur having it with would seem like the world's most perfect man. he is the one who understands you the best and he is the one you would turn to, and he is definitely the one who would have the upper hand when you compare your affair with your relationship. an affair seems like the perfect escape from a dissatisfying, boring relationship. but what do you do when the affair starts to become and turn into the relationship that is dissatisfying and boring and most of all heart-breaking? yep, the one you were trying to escape from in the first place. hmm..something to think about, isn't it?

oh, no she didn't!

i just have to get this off my chest! okay, this girl named neeney from our campus actually had the nerve to label us TESL students as retarded. hmm..i guess she cudn't find a dictionary or sumthing. but anyways, she claimed that the TESL students in her mandarin class are retarded and therefore have no charisma whatsoever to become future teachers.

well, i'm not gonna label her in return, i'm gonna say sumthing that i think you might find staggeringly true! first of all, we, TESL students aren't afraid to speak our mind and if we feel like there are things that we can say, we'll say it. we're loud, we're confident and we love it! instead of labelling us as RETARDED, try and observe your kind first. let me take a wild guess, in class, i bet you guys just keep quiet, look down at your uninteresting notes, repeat what the lecturer says like a mindless mime and when you observe a group of students who actually like to have conversations in class and who actually like to be active and participate in class activities, you laugh at them and call them retarded. hmm...it's sad really. honey, you need a mirror.

i feel soo much better now. :)