last place.again.

i woke up today with an eye sore.literally. one eye. redder than the other and itches like a mother. all is under control though...bought some eyedrops at the pharmacy. linda and i killed the frost that was accumulating in our freezer..and got really excited doing it.like we always do. but then, we're getting really good at it.

the rest of the day, i kept on thinking about Him. linda said no..but she can't stop me from doing it if it's in my mind rite? i've been letting Him have his cake and eat it as well. he's got the best of both worlds (if you know wht i mean) and he's loving it. and i'm back where i always end up, sad and depressed over a guy who probably doesn't deserve me in the first place. is it the question of love or is it the question of need? two very different things that we easily confuse ourselves with. what if he is the person you see everyday, does that make him the person you love or who loves you? or do we simply tell ourselves that so that we can bear their presence everyday. so that we feel better when we do spend so much time with that person that it seems like love. in reality really, we need that other person because he makes us feel special, treats us like we are the ones meant to be with them. another question to ask is, do they please us because they want to?because it really is love?because we please them?or so that we please them? i've got all tangled up in your underwear now huh? good.

being the other one, the other person in the picture is never easy. no one wants a stranger in their perfectly framed picture of happiness. we know that, we all know that. but why still, do we subject ourselves to it? why do we let ourselves be slaves to our emotions when we know that there is nothing worst than being the third person. but everytime i tell myself this, it is always overshadowed by his sweet nothings in my ear, passionate kisses and wonderful hugs. i guess that's my weakness. hopeless romantic. since when was that wrong?