Spice Up the Love, Ladies!

Hey..been a while since I posted. Yeah, been busy with all those things you call "assignments" and "finals". I sometimes wonder why they even exist. I swear, education is ruining me.

So, was talking to an old friend the other day and as usual, we started plunging into the deep end of girl talks. She started telling me stories of her sex life and how it was going down the drain. She said "I think the love's gone". So, I sat and listened as she went on and on. I think I almost shed a tear, honestly. Not because they might not love each other anymore, but because she let the sex go sour. Ladies, you NEVER ever ever let the sex go sour.

Men are boneheads when it comes to emotions and feelings during sex, so it is ultimately up to you to keep it hot and sexy! Here's a thing or two you can do...


1. Be Spontaneous.
You know how it is, you're in a relationship for a few years and suddenly everything is a routine. Movies on Friday nights, dinner dates every Monday and Wednesday and the routine love-making every Saturday and Sunday nights. BOH-RING!!
Come on people, where's the excitement? Try this...the next time you're both at home, watching a movie or something. Quietly slip into something uber sexy underneath, couple it with a pair of hooker heels, spritz on some of your irresistible perfume and call him into the bedroom. Yes, a bit of planning is required..but he doesn't need to know that. I find that telling him there's an emergency works wonders. Wait till he finds out that the emergency is his super hawt woman sitting on the bed waiting for him. It'll knock his socks off! amongst other things. Other than that, don't limit yourself to sex at night only, have it in the morning when you've both just got up, have it in the afternoon, at 4am in the morning, wake him up from sleep. The list can go on.

2. Delay.Delay.Delay!!
Delay as in, delay the sex for as long as possible. Spend more time on foreplay. If he can't find it in his thick skull that foreplay is awesome, then you make bloody well sure that he wants to. Kissing, touching, caressing, fondling, oral..the works! This is probably a good time to start semi-dirty talking. Tell him what makes you feel good and what you want/need him to do. Men always feel better when you say you need something, as opposed to wanting something. Remember! It's not just about you, he's in this as well. Ask him what he needs you to do. Ask him if it feels good, ask him if he wants more. Here's a good tip; put on some soothing, sexy music. Continue your foreplay for at least 3 songs, so you'll know you've have at least 15 good minutes of building all that sexual tension.

3. Make Love
What is the difference between making love and having sex? EVERYTHING! Do not let your man get used to having sex for a few minutes until he ejaculates and then it's all over, leaving you with that empty feeling. Train him, that's right, train him to make love. Go slowly but surely. Build it up so that the both of you can orgasm. Mix and match positions so that it does not become routine and boring. Be adventurous. Missionary is all fine and good but let's not colour within the lines so often. Do it doggy-style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl etc etc etc. There are so many things you can do in the bedroom and you don't need a manual for it. Explore your surroundings and just go for it. Got a bed post? Tie him up! Got a couch in your room? Go do it there! Go make love in the bathtub/ jacuzzi/ swimming pool! Stand up, sit down, have him lift you up. Ladies, you've got all the tools, you don't need someone telling you how to use it.



4. Talk about it.
Never tell yourself that it's wrong to talk about sex, especially with your man. Your happiness depends on it. If he doesn't satisfy you, you have the right to tell him. If he says he doesn't care, then he's not the man for you. You, yourself should ask him if he is satisfied in bed. Don't claim that you're the only one doing all the work. He might not be enjoying the sex as well. So you see, talk about it. Don't be shy. Don't tell me you can strip naked and have sex with someone but not have the guts to talk about it.


So ladies, those were just some things you can do to spice it up! Remember, if you're not happy with the sex, take the bull by its horns and deal wit it! Be creative, be wild, be different. We're women, God gave us all the tools, we just need to use them!
Good luck!

Why am I talking about this? Because you're not.


Safe sex always!
xoxo,
S.M

Girl Talk.

So, was sitting around on the balcony in Cherating with my rocking cool aunt. She told me one or two things that only a woman of her age can know and experience.

We were actually talking about tampons (don't ask me why), one thing led to another and finally, we started talking about how tampons came in different sizes for all the different types of women out there (hallelujah!). But this eventually led to something entirely different; she said that tampons are the right size for you if you don't feel anything when you're using them. So i figured, that makes sense coz obviously no one wants to walk around all day feeling something that is stuck up their vah-jay-jay.

And then natural ability of linking facts started to kick in.
So girls, ever felt like nothing's happening when you're having sex? Well then start working on your man's shortcomings.

Size really DOES matter.


DAMN.

Let's Talk about Sex, baby!

I know, i'm soo not supposed to talk about this! o0o0o0...what a scary/ embarrassing/ degrading/humiliating/no-no topic! Well, i'm talking about it because you're not. So, here are my thoughts on the holy grail of emotions. The epitome of relationships and the death of conservative-ness. Consider this your elbow pads and helmet before plunging into the insatiable world of sex. I don't claim to have any sort of credentials, but I am living and experiencing life. So, don't take my word for it..this is just something we can read about together and maybe learn a thing or two in the process.

Today's topic - Virginity.

I think this topic goes out to the ladies. Okay, so you're thinking about having sex for the first time and not quite sure what it's gonna be like. You've heard stories here and there like, it's gonna hurt or you're gonna bleed or you're gonna be "loose" after losing your virginity. I can assure you, it's not as bad as it sounds.

1. I seriously don't think that your virginity is something you can "lose". Therefore, i do not agree with the term "i lost my virginity". You're virginity is yours and it is not something that can be taken away or lost or stolen. Its yours for as long as you want it to be.

2. The bleeding is caused by a tear in your hymen ( a thin layer of skin surrounding the opening of the vagina). Absolutely scientific, and has nothing to do with losing your self-esteem in the process. And one can't be "loose" when you start having sex. This is a common misunderstanding. This doesn't happen until you're like 50, no matter how many times you've had sex. When you're older, the muscles around the vagina lose their "tough" ness and durability, usually comes with childbirth and aging of the body.

3. Let's say you've had sex for the first time, For God's Sake, THAT MAN DOES NOT OWN YOU! If you're smart/stupid enough to have sex with a man you're not married to, then you're smart enough to deal with the consequences should something go wrong with the relationship. Do not subject yourself to being a slave for this man should he decide to break it off, or you find out he's having an affair or some shit like that. DEAL WITH IT! You have to stand up for yourself and move on. Be strong.

4. Don't you dare, even for a second, think that you're not worth it anymore after you've had sex for the first time. This is the 21st century. Chill. Like I said, if you're smart enough to have sex before marriage, then be double smart in dealing with the consequences.

5. And please, think about it over and over again. Don't have sex because all your friends are having sex, and don't start having sex because the tv shows are saying it's oh so cool. Do it because YOU wanna do it. And do it when YOU'RE ready to do it. not when HE'S ready or when you think you love the guy so much that you're gonna die from all the love. Truth is, he might not love you just as much.

Okay people, that's all i have for you now, I'll get back to you with more juicy, sexy details. Don't be shy, post your questions in the comment section. I will get back to you..

Safe sex always!
xoxo,
S.M